John Holmes Greatest Fear and Why he was Cremated

John Holmes feared that upon his death his most famous attribute would be cut off and put on display in a formaldehyde pickle jar for the world to gawk at.

Pictured below is the supposed penis of Rasputin. He was a Russian peasant who worked his way into the good graces of the Russian Royal Family thru mysticism and his sexual prowess with his rumored foot-long schlong.

Whether this is in fact Rasputin’s member or merely a PT Barnum / Ripley’s-Believe-it-or-Not fake designed to separate rubes from their money is open for debate.

Holmes stipulated in his will that he was to be cremated for this very reason. So after he died his current wife took one last look into the coffin to be sure everything was still there before being sent into the oven.