Monday, December 31, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Forrest Tucker vs. Milton Berle
Forrest Tucker by Gary Griffin
The star of televisions zany sitcom, F Troop sported one of the thickest, beefiest and longest penises of all. “Tuck” along with his friends Milton Berle and comedian Harry Ritz founded “The Long Schlong Club of Bel Air.” The standing rule of the club was that one must be hung at least 10 inches to join. In the movie “Auntie Mame” there is a scene with Tuck walking beside his horse in a pair of crispy-ironed jodhpurs. The outline of his horsecock is clearly visible. Tuck was understandably proud of his phallic leviathan (which allegedly measured 8 soft and 10 hard) and his membership in the Lakeside Golf Club gave him opportunities to show off his prize-winning knockwurst. When he and his wife attended social functions, folks in the know would discreetly point and make phallic gestures with their hands spread a foot apart. Writer James Bacon pens the following humorous anecdote:
"Whenever I get out of town, people are always asking me: 'When you go to a Hollywood party, what do the stars talk about?'
"Well, other than themselves and their latest movie, they gossip a lot, backbite a lot, and invariably, sometime in the evening, the conversation will get around to the size of Forrest Tucker's and Milton Berle's respective cocks. In no place in the world is a large cock held in more reverence than Hollywood. Both men and women will listen in awe when you talk about Tuck and Uncle Miltie. As one who has seen both, I can command center stage at any Hollywood party.
"It's a tie between the two - and they both know it...
"Tuck primarily goes to the [Lakeside Gold Club] to play golf, which he does very well every day. He has a few drinks on the course - Lakeside has that bar on the ninth hole - and then comes into the clubhouse and has six or eight more with lunch. After lunch comes a massage in the locker room. He soon falls asleep on the table, which is not hard to do after eighteen holes of golf and eight or ten scotches. The masseur covers his naked midsection with a towel.
"And then the parade begins. Members with guests, especially with out-of-town guests, never fail to visit the sleeping Tuck. There's the lifting of the towel, and a lot of oohs and ahs, not to mention looks of envy...
"Milton, being more of a showoff than Tucker, and a nondrinker to boot, doesn't have to fall asleep. If you are a friend of a friend, Milton will display it. He's very proud of it, as is Tuck, and rightfully so...
"One day Joey [Bishop] came to Milton's dressing room and said, 'All my life in New York and Philadelphia I have been hearing about your cock. I gotta see it. Show it to me, please, Milton.'
"Milton, always the gentleman, whipped it out, knocking down two of his brothers in the full sweep...
"Milton and Tucker are both about the size of a small Missouri mule...
The star of televisions zany sitcom, F Troop sported one of the thickest, beefiest and longest penises of all. “Tuck” along with his friends Milton Berle and comedian Harry Ritz founded “The Long Schlong Club of Bel Air.” The standing rule of the club was that one must be hung at least 10 inches to join. In the movie “Auntie Mame” there is a scene with Tuck walking beside his horse in a pair of crispy-ironed jodhpurs. The outline of his horsecock is clearly visible. Tuck was understandably proud of his phallic leviathan (which allegedly measured 8 soft and 10 hard) and his membership in the Lakeside Golf Club gave him opportunities to show off his prize-winning knockwurst. When he and his wife attended social functions, folks in the know would discreetly point and make phallic gestures with their hands spread a foot apart. Writer James Bacon pens the following humorous anecdote:
"Whenever I get out of town, people are always asking me: 'When you go to a Hollywood party, what do the stars talk about?'
"Well, other than themselves and their latest movie, they gossip a lot, backbite a lot, and invariably, sometime in the evening, the conversation will get around to the size of Forrest Tucker's and Milton Berle's respective cocks. In no place in the world is a large cock held in more reverence than Hollywood. Both men and women will listen in awe when you talk about Tuck and Uncle Miltie. As one who has seen both, I can command center stage at any Hollywood party.
"It's a tie between the two - and they both know it...
"Tuck primarily goes to the [Lakeside Gold Club] to play golf, which he does very well every day. He has a few drinks on the course - Lakeside has that bar on the ninth hole - and then comes into the clubhouse and has six or eight more with lunch. After lunch comes a massage in the locker room. He soon falls asleep on the table, which is not hard to do after eighteen holes of golf and eight or ten scotches. The masseur covers his naked midsection with a towel.
"And then the parade begins. Members with guests, especially with out-of-town guests, never fail to visit the sleeping Tuck. There's the lifting of the towel, and a lot of oohs and ahs, not to mention looks of envy...
"Milton, being more of a showoff than Tucker, and a nondrinker to boot, doesn't have to fall asleep. If you are a friend of a friend, Milton will display it. He's very proud of it, as is Tuck, and rightfully so...
"One day Joey [Bishop] came to Milton's dressing room and said, 'All my life in New York and Philadelphia I have been hearing about your cock. I gotta see it. Show it to me, please, Milton.'
"Milton, always the gentleman, whipped it out, knocking down two of his brothers in the full sweep...
"Milton and Tucker are both about the size of a small Missouri mule...
Forrest Tucker story by Mamie Van Doren
My old friend, the late Forrest Tucker was rumored to have one of the biggest cocks in Hollywood. He was a tall, good-looking guy with blond hair and a great tan even in his mid-sixties, and it wouldn't have been surprising. Forrest and I were in a show back in the mid-1980's, and after a performance one night we took a limo to a Polynesian restaurant for drinks and dinner. On the ride to the restaurant, I asked him if all the rumors were true and he told me the following story.
Forrest and another actor were drinking at Slapsy Maxy's, a famous Hollywood watering hole back in the 1940's owned by the prizefighter, Slapsy Maxy Rosenblum. On this evening everyone got pretty well oiled and there was considerable bragging about sexual exploits. It finally got down to the size of their penises. The argument got more and more serious, and by closing time, money started getting thrown on the bar and a sizable bet was made. Slapsy rummaged around under the bar and came up with a ruler, and the contestants unzipped to settle the matter then and there.
"I pulled mine out, Mamie," Forrest told me while the limo driver strained to hear from the front seat, Aand it was between eleven and twelve. I thought I had the bet won! Then this guy who could not have been more than five feet three or four hauled his out..."
He paused for effect. "And? And?" I asked.
"And it hung over the end!"
"Who was it, Forrest?" I asked.
He grinned. "Never underestimate those short guys. It was George Raft."
(George Raft pictured below)
FORREST TUCKER AND "THE CHIEF"
Hollywood Babylon (the new version by Darwin Porter, not the original one from the 1960's) is a fascinating read. There is a chapter on Forrest Tucker in there.
He used to call his schlong "The Chief".
In the book it said Tucker and Phil Harris (another actor) were friends and used to regularly golf (and drink a lot). One day they're playing golf and Tucker has like a 3" putt, a gimme. Tucker goes to pick up his ball and Harris says no, Tucker has to putt through.
Tucker says "C'mon Phil, even 'The Chief' can make this putt". Harris says, "You're on, $500 "The Chief' can't do it". So Tucker drops his pants and putts the ball into the hole with his schlong.
Forrest Tucker is my hero.
FORREST TUCKER AND GAY POOL PARTIES
Cast as her main squeeze in the Auntie Mame was handsome Forrest Tucker, an affable fellow, who'd been doing supporting work in films for years and was known about town not so much for his talent, as for his massive endowment. Although straight, he would show up at gay director George Cukor's Sunday afternoon gay soirees and swim naked in the pool for the viewing pleasure of Cukor's famous gay guests who included W. Somerset Maugham, Noel Coward, Cecil Beaton and other assorted gay influential's in the art, literary and movie colonies. Tucker realized these men were important contacts and was one of many up and coming young studs who made an appearance in the altogether for the sake of their careers.
Forrest and another actor were drinking at Slapsy Maxy's, a famous Hollywood watering hole back in the 1940's owned by the prizefighter, Slapsy Maxy Rosenblum. On this evening everyone got pretty well oiled and there was considerable bragging about sexual exploits. It finally got down to the size of their penises. The argument got more and more serious, and by closing time, money started getting thrown on the bar and a sizable bet was made. Slapsy rummaged around under the bar and came up with a ruler, and the contestants unzipped to settle the matter then and there.
"I pulled mine out, Mamie," Forrest told me while the limo driver strained to hear from the front seat, Aand it was between eleven and twelve. I thought I had the bet won! Then this guy who could not have been more than five feet three or four hauled his out..."
He paused for effect. "And? And?" I asked.
"And it hung over the end!"
"Who was it, Forrest?" I asked.
He grinned. "Never underestimate those short guys. It was George Raft."
(George Raft pictured below)
FORREST TUCKER AND "THE CHIEF"
Hollywood Babylon (the new version by Darwin Porter, not the original one from the 1960's) is a fascinating read. There is a chapter on Forrest Tucker in there.
He used to call his schlong "The Chief".
In the book it said Tucker and Phil Harris (another actor) were friends and used to regularly golf (and drink a lot). One day they're playing golf and Tucker has like a 3" putt, a gimme. Tucker goes to pick up his ball and Harris says no, Tucker has to putt through.
Tucker says "C'mon Phil, even 'The Chief' can make this putt". Harris says, "You're on, $500 "The Chief' can't do it". So Tucker drops his pants and putts the ball into the hole with his schlong.
Forrest Tucker is my hero.
FORREST TUCKER AND GAY POOL PARTIES
Cast as her main squeeze in the Auntie Mame was handsome Forrest Tucker, an affable fellow, who'd been doing supporting work in films for years and was known about town not so much for his talent, as for his massive endowment. Although straight, he would show up at gay director George Cukor's Sunday afternoon gay soirees and swim naked in the pool for the viewing pleasure of Cukor's famous gay guests who included W. Somerset Maugham, Noel Coward, Cecil Beaton and other assorted gay influential's in the art, literary and movie colonies. Tucker realized these men were important contacts and was one of many up and coming young studs who made an appearance in the altogether for the sake of their careers.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
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